Curing busyness so that we can be compassionate beings - Humankinda

JetBlue has created a 16-minute video called "Humankinda" shines a light on the disease we have called busyness.  People wear busyness like a badge of honor.  It makes us appear important and accomplished. 

But this busy frenzy is taking its toll.  Failure to take breaks and connect with real people has a range of unintended consequences:

• high stress
• lack of creativity
• failure to build trust
• disconnectedness (not approachable)
• unhappiness
• bad health

I could go on.  All these and more create a volatile environment.

Watch the video.  It's very funny (Veep's Sam Richardson is perfect in his narrator/helper role)

But don't gloss over the humor, do something about it.  Spread the word and stop the madness!


See Fast Company's take on it also see "The Busy Trap" by Tim Kreider in the New York Times

Don't fear or loathe networking -- it's essential for success in the current work environment

I often hear people say they hate networking events.  They fear them.  When you meet people superficially, it seems like you're using them.  Or it seems fake. 

Given that the work environment has become increasingly complex and that those who collaborate improve the bottom line for businesses by over 10 percent (source: Corporate Executive Board), then  it makes sense that networking is an essential tool for getting things done.

Networking helps us:

• share knowledge and contacts
• help others
• build relationships before we need them
• get "just-in-time" help
• get more done with less effort

Networking can be strategic or serendipitous-- a planned or chance encounter.

Everyone should be ready for networking opportunities.  A starting point -- understand your goals and interests.  What's your value proposition?  This is the part that will make you memorable when the person you meet realizes there is something you have to offer them.  This will also make you feel better about networking since you will have the opportunity to become a "giver,"  not just a "taker."  See Wharton Professor Adam Grant's books Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success.  You can also read his HBR article on the same subject. 

People also experience what Never Eat Alone author Keith Ferrazi calls the "frontier ethic."  Some just never want to show any sign of weakness and don't ask for help.  They have a "tough as nails" exterior and would rather keep things close held.

Remember that it's not about selling yourself but about providing enough information that the other person can associate something with you.  Be confident and approachable and watch your body language.  See Amy Cuddy's TED Talk on body language. Follow up after the event.

Lastly,  network on your own terms.  Choose the time of day you're at your best.  Create your own communities of interest, clubs, social get-togethers. 

Set a goal today--  introduce yourself to one new person a week. (You can find this person in the networks of your friends, family, co-workers, neighbors, etc.)

Good luck!

Be Inclusive for a High-Performing Culture

 

Stereotyping applies beyond the realm of gender, and raising awareness of unconscious bias is known to reduce it.  Encouraging people to correct for biases creates opportunities for women and minorities.  Having greater diversity in leadership and followership can have huge benefits not only to corporate America, but to our society as a whole.  Diverse groups have healthy debate, are more creative, and solve challenging problems.  Different strengths fuse to make the unit stronger.

 

As Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant not in their article “When Talking About Bias Backfires” NYT 7 Dec 2014:

 

Knowledge of the prevalence of stereotyping can lead to greater stereotyping, but awareness can correct biases.  Studies have shown that when women lead, performance improves.

 “To break down the barriers that hold women back, it’s not enough to spread awareness. If we don’t reinforce that people need — and want — to overcome their biases, we end up silently condoning the status quo.”

In “Speaking While Female,” NYT 12 Jan 2015, the same authors highlight why women don’t speak up, and I believe the same could go for others-- whether shy, introverted, or humble.  It is often men who dominate meetings and interrupt women.  With this awareness, they can help by being on guard for this behavior and by using their voices to bring attention to the contributions of those who don’t have the loudest voices and are not dominant.

 

Having practices that foster inclusion and see to it that everyone’s voice is heard would ensure that the best ideas are surfaced regardless of gender, age, race, etc.  This would contribute to a high-performance culture.

 

Lastly, in Madame CEO, Get Me a Coffee, NYT 6 Feb 2015, Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant discuss gender stereotypes and helping behaviors.  When women don’t step up to help they are seen in a far worse light than their male counterparts.  Many helping behaviors are seen as women’s work:  taking notes, setting up refreshments, etc.  Again, just having the awareness that this is happening can enable men to step up and take their turn.

 

 

Thanks to Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant for framing these important issues.  Having them out in the open enables us to continue the inclusive conversation.

Developing Executive Presence: Don't say "I'm sorry" as a default

Pantene has a video spot of women saying "I'm sorry" in too any situations.  If this looks familiar, it's time to stop the habit.  It's undermining how people view you

https://www.google.com/?gws_rd=ssl#q=pantene+i'm+sorry

How to manage "invisible" high-performing talent in an era of hyper self promotion

We all have people in our organizations who are talented and essential to our success yet they are happiest flying under the radar. How do we manage them?  See David Zweig's new book Invisibles, the Power of Anonymous Work in an Age of Relentless Self Promotion highlighted in the Forbes article:

http://www.forbes.com/sites/nextavenue/2014/06/27/invisibles-at-work-take-a-bow/

As a manager you can:

1. Listen to your workforce
2. Identify those invisibles
3. Equalize the playing field by soliciting accomplishments from all
4. Recognize them and their important role

Low Confidence or Decision Fatigue?

In last month's Atlantic, in the article "The Confidence Gap" by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman, they note the progress that women have made over the years and that women now surpass the number of men in college and receiving graduate degrees.  In business, women are showing that they can generate greater profits, yet men still get promoted faster and are paid more.  What's up?

According to them, it's an "acute lack of confidence"  that leads women to lag behind their male peers.  Women don't feel they deserve the promotion, they don't consider themselves the best choice for the key job, they get lucky, or they feel they are faking it.  The authors go on to cite a number of interesting points that support their theory: why Hillary is not qualified to be President (story by David Graham), why women don't initiate salary negotiations (Linda Babcock), women's tendency to underestimate their abilities (Dunning-Kruger effect), women's need for perfectionism and fear of taking risks (Olga Khazan). These phenomena can certainly apply to both sexes depending on nature and nurture.

Women tend to take the blame when things go wrong and give credit to the group or circumstance when things go right.  Men tend to develop thicker skin as a result of constant bantering as kids and are generally more resilient to criticism as adults.  (Did you know that it has been reported in research that for every single criticism a girl receives at school, a boy receives eight?!)  Girls aren't getting the feedback since no one wants them to get emotional, and really nice people don't get honest feedback either.

Although the article mentions how women often play multiple roles simultaneously -- mother, daughter, wife, sister, friend, cook, cleaner, boss, PTA volunteer, kids' taxi driver, etc. it doesn't make the connection to another phenomenon that women (and men) experience daily -- decision fatigue.  The more choices one has to make throughout the day, the harder the next one becomes for the brain.  Eventually the brain rebels and either causes its owner to become reckless and make bad choices (no, don't eat that whole pint of Ben & Jerry's!) or it conserves energy and the person does nothing. Women may defer to others at work or not speak up or counter the argument not because they are not confident, but because they are multi-tasking, making a ton of decisions, and they are exhausted.  They pick their battles-- though their victories don't necessarily play out at work. Even when women speak up, their contributions may not be heard because of different linguistic styles and rituals (see Deborah Tannen's "The Power of Talk, Who Gets Heard and Why.") 

The good news is that we can work on building confidence (and this certainly applies to both men and women).  We show confidence through strong body language, low and relaxed voice, and speaking early and often. 

Social psychologist Amy Cuddy says "our bodies can change our minds, our minds can change our behavior and our behavior can change the outcomes."

She also says "Little tweaks can lead to big changes"  See her awesome lecture at TED:

Sample Power Poses

In addition, our leaders need to show that they value diversity in the workplace -- not everyone has to be like them (mini-me).  They need to consciously listen (think WAIT-- Why Am I Talking?) and build sufficient pauses into conversation to give everyone the opportunity to speak up.  Multiple ways to gather input (in person and virtual) will support both extroverts and introverts.

Leaders need to provide feedback that encourages risk taking and 80% solutions.  They need to embrace failure as a learning opportunity.  Perhaps they can even create jobs where failure is expected and let people experiment and build skills in this "safe zone".

Now, what do we do about decision fatigue?  

Pay attention to how your energy gets depleted and save some of that decision making for when you know you should be taking a stand at work!  Companies are investing huge amounts in Mindfulness training -- stay tuned for the next blog!

The importance of saying "I don't know"

I listen to the informative and entertaining Freakonomics Radio postcast, and the hosts and authors of Freakonomics, Superfreakonomics, Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner, have been (shamelessly) plugging their new book Think Like a Freak.

In a recent podcast entitled " The Three Most Difficult Words in the English Language," they talk about how people are reluctant to say "I don't know" when asked a question.  This is especially prevalent in the work environment where people are expected to be the experts and when there's a power differential like an employee-boss relationship.  People will fake answers because they want to appear smart and competent and feel a sense of belonging.  Psychological studies have shown that 75% of children fake answers, so the impulse is very strong, and by the time you reach adulthood, about 25% of us make up our responses. 

Levitt and Dubner point out that the failure to say these three seemingly simple words "I don't know" causes some problems, and ultimately prevents people from "thinking like a freak."    Until we admit that we do not know the answer, we cannot work to learn the answer by gathering data and experimenting, which Dubner notes we should "fall in love with."  Faking it, denies us the opportunity to explore other possibilities and compare outcomes. 

What should we do?

• Admit it when we don't know the answer (this is hard)
• Create a culture where "I don't know" is accepted (this is also hard)
• Like Colin Powell practices, as a leader, ask the following of your people:
• What do you know?
• What don't you know?
• What do you think?

This will enable us and our companies to improve in numerous ways and ultimately impact your knowledge, creativity, and bottom line!

For more, see the Freakonomics website or podcast